On Marriages of Convenience

#RoyalFirmaan2

Dear Students,

With the period of Elective Swapping coming to a close, I would like to take a moment of your time to talk about marriages of convenience, you know just like Naveen & Me (OOPS that's still forbidden)

The elective system at JGU allowing for cross-registration between schools is a prime example of the same. It allows me to present to the UGC and MoE an education that seems well rounded and holistic thus maintaining a facade of superiority in comparison to Ashoka University. I deeply miss Mr. Arjun Poori my flag bearer in similar endeavours in the past.

The ERP Desk may consider this edict to be a token of appreciation for not burdening me with any undue headaches this time around. It is still no surprise that the bidding process went poorly for some, however that is more a question of Faculty Retention rates(How do I weasel out of this one ?) rather than the poor folks running the bidding portal.

Speaking of the recently departed though, I cannot help but think of Dr. Tappan Kumar Panda, erstwhile Dean of JGBS who is currently on extended medical leave (may he suddenly trip upon a rather sharp stabby knife for all the grief he has given me).

Indeed, I seem to have become quite the matchmaker. I now successfully hold multiple positions of power here at JGU as the Vice Chancellor at large, the Dean of JGLS, Director of IIHED and member of Governing body JGU. Even my celebrity divorce with the Registrar was beneficial with the alimony we pay one another going towards our child the Finance and Accounts Department. This allows me to claim multiple benefits from Naveen to open new schools, while telling existing students we have no money for any initiatives as all of it goes towards feeding the wads of cash that make up the (currency)rolls of fat on our baby's bloated stomach.

Being married to multiple versions of myself often makes it simply too easy to give myself a pat on the back. Mr. Panda however was quite a challenge. Unlike his name nothing was really black and white for me with regard to the Sexual Harassment allegations levelled against him. It was really a bunch of he said and she said (Granted though it was multiple she’s and a single repeated denial for he.)

The selective hearing of student concerns turned out to be rather handy this time round. While I promised to investigate the matter Prof.Pattpatia kept on successfully putting about postponing SHC Elections. As soon as Dr.Panda took his leave of absence I could grant the SHC leave to continue the election process all while maintaining an appearance of the greatest sincerity. It seems that men really do excel in excusing malicious activities of one another, except of course when it comes to email etiquette for me.

Once the new SHC Representatives are elected though, they will be blessed to gaze upon my true form and experience the full extent of my power. Just as the Student Council remains firmly within my pocket, they too will learn to bow. Forget the Saksham Committee, the only committee that holds sway at JGU is the Disciplinary Committee.